Beaches

Beaches are to Rio what cafes are to Paris. And while each beach has its own particular traits, there are some general rules to help you take the waters like a true Carioca.
Be Prepared -- First and foremost: Get a Brazilian bikini (though perhaps not if you're male). No matter how funky or fashionably teeny your swimsuit looked up north, on a Rio beach it's guaranteed to scream gringo. And if you're thinking your figure's not quite bikini-ready, relax. In Brazil everybody and their grandma wears a two-piece. (Note, however, that no matter how small they may shrink that top, Brazilian women never go topless -- that's for the heathen French.)

Second: Don't be a pack rat. If you observe your fellow beachgoers you'll note that Brazilians bring neither picnic basket nor backpack full of stuff and gadgets. Why bring anything when everything you could possibly want is for sale on the beach? Blankets, inflatable mattresses, and quilts are likewise no-nos. A foldable beach chair is acceptable for women; Brazilian men stand or sit on the sand. All you really need is a towel, sunscreen, and a little bit of cash for beer, food, and other incidentals.

Third and most important: Relax. Go for a little swim, chat with the one that brung ya or the cutie on the towel next door, have a beer and some snacks, and soak up those rays.
Water Conditions -- The beaches facing Guanabara Bay (primarily Flamengo and Botafogo) are nearly always too polluted for swimming. Thanks to a substantial current, the ocean beaches (Copacabana, Ipanema, and Barra) are much cleaner, but even so, sometimes after a heavy rain the fecal coli form count rises beyond acceptable levels. The newspaper Globo prints a daily beach report listing all beach closings. Consult that or ask at your hotel.
Safety Issues -- Another argument for traveling light to the beach is security. You're unlikely to get mugged on a Rio beach in the daytime, but leaving that iPod, wallet, or pocket camera on the sand while you head off for a swim is an open invitation to be relieved of your valuables. I would also advise against moonlit strolls by the waterline. At night the sand is dark and deserted; stick to the large sidewalk fronting the beach -- it's well lit and patrolled often by the tourist police.

Know About the Beach Entrance -- Maybe it's to keep sand from tracking in the lobby, or maybe it's to avoid having the Speedo-clad squeezing into an elevator full of suits. For whatever reason, many beachfront hotels have a separate entrance and elevator for those going to the beach. Normally marked ENTRADA DE BANHISTAS or ENTRADA DE SERVIÇO, these elevators lead to the hotel service entrance where -- as a bonus for following the local etiquette -- you can pick up a beach towel, chair, and umbrella. Returning from the beach you enter the same side entrance and drop the stuff off again.

Baywatch Rio-Style -- On hot summer days, Cariocas take to the ocean like fish to water, except of course, that many Cariocas can't swim. On days when wind and waves get rough, this can lead to some exciting beach theater. One day on Leme beach a helicopter zoomed down along the surf line from the direction of Copacabana, stopping to hover over a spot some 15m (50 ft.) offshore. We could see a swimmer in the circle of water beat flat by the helicopter blades. A rescue jumper appeared in the open door of the chopper, then plunged into the ocean. The helicopter lowered a big net and scooped up swimmer and diver. It hovered over to the beach and plopped the swimmer unceremoniously on the sand. The rescuer was then raised on a line and the helicopter sped off; the swimmer skulked into the crowd. Five minutes after it began the beach was back to normal again. On a busy weekend, helicopters can perform up to 200 such rescues.
The Beaches
Botafogo and Flamengo are fine and picturesque for an afternoon stroll, but too polluted for swimming. Off by itself in Urca, Praia Vermelha faces the ocean and is often fine. It offers a fabulous view of the Sugarloaf, and next to no tourists. On the other hand, it's completely lacking in waves.

The first of the ocean beaches, Copacabana remains a favorite. The wide and beautifully landscaped Avenida Atlântica is a great place for a stroll. (The wavy landscaped sidewalk mosaic is the work of landscape designer Roberto Burle Marx.) When the feet start to tire, pull up a chair at any of the countless beachside kiosks, grab a chilled coconut or a cerveja, and spend some time admiring the picture-perfect view. (The new kiosks also offer modern, clean bathroom facilities, at a cost of R$1.) The far end of the beach near the Forte de Copacabana is where fishermen beach their small craft; it's a good place to find freshly grilled shrimp or other seafood. For those with other fish to fry, the area in front of the Copacabana Palace around the Rainbow kiosk is a well-known gay area.
The postos (lifeguard stations) along Copacabana and Ipanema beaches are open daily from 8am to 8pm. They offer first aid (free if needed) and changing and toilet facilities for a charge of R$1. Postos are numbered 1 through 11 starting from Leme and ending in Leblon. Cariocas often use them as reference points.

Ipanema Beach was famous among Brazilians even before Tom Jobim wrote his song about the tall and tan and young and lovely girl he saw and sighed over. Stretching almost 3km (2 miles) from the foot of the Pedra Dois Irmãos to the Ponta Arpoador, the beach at Ipanema is a strand like nowhere else. Part of the attraction does involve observing the self-confident sensuality with which the Ipanema garotas (girls) stroll the sands. (Equal-opportunity purists should note that there's an equivalent amount of male beefcake on hand -- it just doesn't inspire songs or poetry.) But more than anything, Ipanema is a carnival. Watch the games of volleyball or futvolei (like volleyball, but no hands allowed), beach soccer, surfing, and wakeboarding. Forgot your bikini? Wait a moment and a vendor will stop by with one for sale -- along with towels, sarongs (called kangas in Brazil), hats, shades, peanuts, beer, cookies, Walkmans, suntan lotion, Styrofoam airplanes, Winnie-the-Pooh books, sticks of grilled shrimp, shelled coconuts, even deep-muscle massages. Claim a piece of sand on Ipanema, and all of life's essentials will come to you.

The section just around the point from Copacabana -- called Praia do Arpoador -- is a prime surf spot and a great location for watching the local dudes take to the waves. One of the surf schools also runs lessons for kids from the local favelas. The area around Posto 8 (opposite Rua Farme Amoedo) is Ipanema's gay section.
Farther down into Leblon (still the same beach, just a different name once you cross the canal) you will find the Baixo Baby. This play area, equipped by corporate sponsors with lots of playground equipment and beach toys, is a popular gathering place for nannies and parents to watch their kids run around and play with sand.
Off on its own surrounded by mountains, São Conrado Beach offers some fine scenery and a (relative) sense of isolation. Its other main claim to fame is as a landing strip for all the hang gliders (asa delta in Portuguese) who leap from nearby peaks.
Farther from the city is the beach at Barra de Tijuca. The main reason to go out here is if you're a surf-head desperate for a wave. The surfing is said to be the best in Rio, particularly around the Barraca de Pepê (Pepê's Shack) where surfers like to gather. The only reason to go even farther beyond Barra is to get to Grumari, a lovely small beach set in a nature reserve. Grumari has no high-rises or beachside restaurants, just lush vegetation and a few kiosks by the side of the road. However, don't expect to get away from the crowds even this far out; on weekends the place is packed.

Know the Beach Rules
Certain unspoken, gender-specific rules govern the public behavior of men and women on the beach at Ipanema -- and by extension, on all Brazilian beaches. What follows is a tongue-in-cheek rundown of beachgoing do's and don'ts.
Sunbathing 101: The most important rule is that nothing shall come between a man and the raw, hot sand. A man who uses a beach chair, a towel, or a kanga is not a man but a gringo, and shall be shunned. A Brazilian man must plant his Lycra-covered butt down in hot white silicon, making sure his lower back and thighs are covered in sticky white grains.
There are certain exceptions. A man may sit on a sheet of folded newspaper. A man may sit on a tiny corner of a woman's kanga, provided the woman is beautiful and he occupies no more than 3% of the total kanga surface. A man may also stand, drinking a cerveja (beer), looking around manfully and sharing the company of other men.
A woman must sit on a kanga. Beach chairs are also acceptable. Women do not touch the sand, nor do women stand. Women do not join in beach sports such as soccer or foot volley, nor do they plod sweatily down the beach pretending to be joggers. The acceptable positions for women are lounging on their backs, lying dreamily on their bellies, or sitting cross-legged in a circle with at least three other women.

When rising from the sand -- or newspaper, or corner of a woman's kanga -- a man may not brush the sticky white sand from his butt. A man may not touch his butt. A man who touches his butt is not a man but a bicha (sissy) or a gringo.
A woman, when rising from the sand, must brush herself voluptuously, making sure both glutes are thoroughly massaged from waist down to lower thigh. Particular attention must be paid to readjusting the bikini bottom so that it rests comfortably between her butt cheeks.
Water Frolicking 101: Men must swim or at least pretend to swim (many Cariocas actually don't know how to swim but will fake it). A man who dibbles his toes or contemplates the waves with a far-off look in his eye is not a man but a gringo, and must be shunned. Men approach the sea in a series of angry stomps, stopping at the waterline to regard the surf with a steely glare before sprinting forward and diving into a breaking wave. Once immersed, a man may swim farther out, or he may bodysurf. A man may not play in the waves.

Women may play in the waves, turning their backs to the surf and giggling as the water breaks over them. This, however, is rare. Generally, a woman dips her toes, advances as deep as mid-calf, and then waits for a breaker, at which time she squats and allows the surf to immerse her bikini bottom. If this is found to be too traumatizing, a woman may also bring a cup to the beach, dip it in the frothy foam and pour the water over various parts of her body, thoroughly massaging each part for at least 30 seconds afterward.

Beach Flirting 101: Men and women do not enter the water together. This is not to say they do not interact. For instance, a man may approach a group of no more than three pretty women sitting cross-legged on their kangas and ask them to watch his shorts and sandals while he manfully attacks the ocean. Their agreement obtained, the man will then place his stuff on the sand near their kangas and stomp angrily toward the surf, which he will regard with a glare all the more steely for the fact that he knows three pretty women are admiring the manful way he's attacking the elements. The women will ignore him, missing the determined plunge into the roiling surf and the angry stomp back up the beach. But at least they will never call him a gringo!

1. Egypt

Despite having some of the world’s best-known monuments, Egypt struggles to fill its abundant hotels. With less-than-wealthy locals far outnumbering the tourists, it’s easy to find a bargain meal or a guide or taxi driver. (They’ll find you whether you need them or not.) Admission prices for the ancient pyramids and temples are reasonable, generally ranging from $3 to $14.

Sample deals: a first-class train ticket from Cairo to Luxor for $17; a Nile-view deluxe double room in Luxor for $60 with breakfast; a private room by the sea in Dahab for under $20; entrance to the Nubia Museum in Aswan for $4; a falafel sandwich at a Cairo street stall for 40 cents.

2.Indonesia

This Southeast Asian nation is one of the most diverse and attractive destinations in the world, with a long string of volcanic islands and a range of topography and culture. It could also be the best value on the planet, with cheap hotels going for $5 a night, often right beside great snorkeling spots. Bali is the most developed island, but even there you can find plenty of deals. On Java, Sumatra, and Sulawesi, however, it’s easy to branch out like an intrepid explorer or get pampered on the cheap in the most popular spots.

Sample deals: a double room with pool and breakfast in Yogyakarta, Java for under $20; a five-day small ship cruise between Lombok and Flores islands via Komodo for $200 per person including meals; a first-class train seat from Jakarta to Yogyakarta for $25; an hour-long massage for $8-$15; a day’s motorbike rental on Bali for $10.

3.Mexico

In mid-2008, the peso was at 10 to the dollar. Now it’s close to 13. That’s a discount of more than 25 percent in a country that was already a deal. Plus Swine Flu followed by drug gang violence on the U.S. border has meant that travelers have tremendous bargaining power on hotels and tours. To find the best values, visit the historic colonial cities or beach areas where Americans don’t outnumber the locals. (As in places where there’s no Señor Frog’s in sight.)

Sample deals: a three-course lunch at a market stand for $4; nice hotels in centuries-old colonial buildings for under $75 double with breakfast and Wi-Fi; a round of Negra Modelos for five at nearly any bar, including gratis snacks, for $10; and some of the nicest deluxe buses in the hemisphere for $6 to $8 per hour of travel.

4.Honduras

Few people knew anything about this country until it was all over the news last year when the president got forced out of office. You can find fabulous deals on scuba diving packages on Roatan Island. This Caribbean island sits next to the second-longest coral reef in the world, and every hotel seems to offer attractive package plans no matter the season. On the mainland you’ve got tropical national parks, the rugged Moskito Coast, and Copán, one of the key Mayan sites in the Americas and a great little colonial town.

Sample deals: $35 white-water rafting trips; weeklong learn-to-dive packages with room, breakfast, and transfers for under $600; a cold coconut with a straw for 40 cents; and admission to the Copán archeological park for $10. For more info, see the Honduras Tips site or Roatan Online, or see more travel prices in Honduras here.

5.Guatemala

This is only a shade farther to fly than Mexico, but it is a truly exotic destination. The descendants of the Mayans still dress in traditional clothing in the villages surrounding stunning Lake Atitlán. The Spanish colonial buildings in the city of Antigua are older than anything left standing in our historic city districts. The sprawling archeological park of Tikal is the granddaddy of Mayan ruins, and still surrounded by jungle.

Sample deals: taxis in Antigua for $4; great hotels with a view on Lake Atitlán for $60 a night; a week of private Spanish lessons including homestay starting at $180; a zipline canopy tour near Tikal for $30; three pounds of bananas or avocados for a dollar. La Ruta Maya Online is the best resource for hotels, tours, and Spanish language

6.Peru

Machu Picchu alone is worth the journey, but it’s just the start in this value-packed country. Inca ruins are scattered all around the Sacred Valley, and Cuzco is one of the most attractive cities in South America. There is also hiking in the Andes, admiring colonial architecture on the streets of Arequipa, trips through the Amazon, boating across the highest lake in the world, and flying over the strange Nazca lines.

Sample deals: Bus from Arequipa to Colca Canyon – $6; a big traditional lunch and a beer for $7; simple restaurant meal in the countryside $6 for two; entrance to the Inca Museum in Cuzco for $1.50; cheap single room or hostel bed $4-$10; airport taxi in Cusco $4.

7.Thailand

As with Honduras and Mexico, visitor numbers plunged when Bangkok was all over the news recently, so there are plenty of deals on airfare, tours, and hotels. This is a popular destination for travelers of all budget levels. Thailand continues to be one of the best bargains in the world in terms of hotel prices, and with a well-developed infrastructure, it’s easy to get around and see what you want to see, be it historic ruins, Buddhist temples, or tropical beaches.

Sample deals: a standard double at a true 5-star hotel in Bangkok for $250 or less per night—or a cheap place to flop down and sleep for 1/20th of that price; admission to the main ruins in Sukothai for under $2; a first-class round-trip sleeper train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai for about $40; a Skytrain ticket across Bangkok for about $1.30. The hands-down best travel resource for Thailand is Travelfish.org. They also put out some great iPhone/iPad apps on specific regions and islands.

8.Czech Republic

In much of Europe, prices in the big cities are often double what you find in the countryside. This is especially true in Eastern European countries like the Czech Republic, where vacationers on quick weekend breaks have driven up hotel and restaurant prices in Prague. In the smaller towns and cities, however, the country is one of Europe’s remaining great values. Castles on hill crests, some of the world’s best beer for a dollar or so in a pub, and winding cobblestone streets without crowds—Ye Olde Europe without the new Europe prices.

Sample deals: a room at the best hotel in town across Moravia for under $100 with breakfast; fully equipped hybrid bike rental for $25 a day; sommelier guided 12-bottle tasting at the Wine Salon of the Czech Republic in Valtice for $19; a train ticket from Prague to anywhere in the country for $12 or less.

Best Party Beaches: Surfers Paradise, Australia

Beaches are enchanted places where the drinks seem bottomless, the girls (occasionally) go topless and no matter how obnoxious you get, all is forgiven. The “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” mentality seems to apply to the golden coasts, which is why the beach is the perfect place to find no-holds-barred gluttonous serenity. What we’re trying to say is if you decide to blow your cash on a beach vacation, it’s almost impossible to screw up. To help out, we’ve calculated just how much you’re going to have to save to have a good time without fear or favor in Australia’s Surfers Paradise.

First you’re going to need a place to pass out after your debaucherous nights out on the town. If you’re in Australia for the beach, you damn well better find a place that’s on the water, or at least towering over the skyline. Located on the top floor of Club Watermark you’ll find your ocean-view executive suite. Welcoming you with a bottle of Chandon, the promise of a warm cooked breakfast, evening canapés with beverages and a view overlooking the ocean, Club Watermark is where you’ll call home for the next few days.

We’re going to go ahead and make a grand assumption. You don’t do too much surfing in your day-to-day life and the thought of taking a group class with photo-happy families on their first vacation isn’t your idea of a good time. Luckily, Australia’s number one surf school, Cheyne Horan School of Surf, holds private surf lessons for only $75 an hour. The cost includes everything you need to hit the waves, and they will also pick you up from your hotel if it’s in the vicinity of Broadbeach or Southport. After you’re done with your one- to six-hour class, you’re always welcome to rent a board and work your newfound skill at the Surfers Paradise Beach, where you can find Pacific Ocean shore breaks and challenging banks ideal for any level of surfer.

With a twenty-eight-year history of being one of the principal party places in Surfers Paradise, it’s no surprise that their food is on par as well. We still dream about the wild nights spent at The Avenue and we’d kill for even one of their Kilpatrick oysters. If you find yourself in an adventurous mood thanks to the overindulgence in Australia’s favorite beer, Victoria Bitter, go with your gut and order the kangaroo filets. The atmosphere is laid-back and has a saloon feel, so if you’re looking for fine dining with a snobbish atmosphere, take warning. But if you’re hoping to find a place with good food, sexy women and decently priced beer, cocktails and wine, The Avenue is your one-stop place for all things good.

Your Wildest Night Out(FunXsite)

We don’t know what kind of mood you’ll be in once the clock strikes 12. Will you want to relive your youth and bust a move on the dance floor to some old-school hip-hop? Strike up a conversation with a girl by the DJ booth as he spins the latest electro and house music? Or will you want to be treated like the VIP you are and sip on a cocktail while watching the night unfold around you in a subdued setting? Whatever your mood, Shooters Super club will accommodate all of the above with their four rooms, all equipped with completely different atmospheres, spinning an array of diverse music, serving up great cocktails and never short of incredibly sexy women that are far from shy. Shooters Superc lub is known to throw parties with painted girls as your waiters, is notorious around town for their “best bum” competitions and never shies away from a good old-fashioned pole dance throwdown. This nightclub is a thing of dreams!

Once you’ve had enough of the lavish life at Shooters, or wherever else your night has taken you, finish off your escapades with a carnivorous nightcap at Jack's Kebabs on Cavill Avenue. It’s open till about four on weekends, and you can’t miss the place since the boardwalk surrounding it is usually packed with ravenous party goers. There are a few kebab places around Jack's but we have to say, he makes the best lamb kebabs around.

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